#002. Finding Oneself
How to find your own path in a world full of distractions
Finding Oneself
We wake up every day to a world of distractions. We voluntarily throw ourselves into the bottomless pit of social media. We watch what others are doing—this person is going on a trip across the country; that person is spending time with their cat; another just published a new book. We consume bits of other people's lives without questioning, and we feel dreadful because of it. But deep down, we all want to make something of ourselves. Yet we've become so illusioned that we've lost sight of who we are.
So, here is my single piece of advice to help you find clarity in this chaotic world:
Build.
Build upon your human experiences. Write. Converse. Listen. Cry. Laugh. Play. Learn. Walk. Run. Jump. Love. Hate. Breathe. Don't breathe. Do something embarrassing. Regret it.
We are a collection of all our experiences. Introspective experiences—meditating, journaling, reading, etc.—build our character and shape how we recognize ourselves. Extrospective experiences—conversing, creating, traveling, and such—make us realize that we are each but a tiny, mortal being among the billions sharing this planet.
This realization is painful, because we cannot make more out of life than what is possible. It is also liberating, because other people are exactly like us, mere “case studies”—examples of what a human life could be—among the many that came before us. To realize and accept that you, too, are one of these examples, and that it is impossible to be anyone else but you, instills the confidence to assert your own identity. Because you, too, have a place in this world.
In other words, you need to acknowledge your autonomy and look upon yourself as a subject. Actively seeking out more life experiences will give you the strength to assert who you are. While it may not always be best to attach yourself to certain labels, in this case, it is integral to assert your position in life.
“Letters to a Young Poet” is composed of a series of letters exchanged between Rilke and Mr. Kappus (a young poet). This book explores themes such as solitude, art, and love, and is worth a read for anyone who is in need of an earnest reflection or a break from the everyday distractions. You can check it out here.
I received this book from my piano teacher a few years ago. Recently, I went back to my notes and gained some new insights. It’s interesting to witness the evolution of my past ideas and view them from a third-person perspective.
This post is partly inspired by Sherry Ning’s ideas on social media, and how the fact that we’ve become “watchers” is more concerning than being the “watched”.
Here are a few life snippets from last week. I’m trying to cherish my last 10-ish days in Boston to the best I can. I am beyond grateful for everything I’ve learned and everyone I’ve met in these past weeks.
That’s all for this week. Thank you for reading this newsletter, and stay tuned for next time ✈
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